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That said, I’m not shifting the blame entirely on myself — when someone treats you as poorly as some of my exes have, you don’t owe them friendship.

I’m just acknowledging my role in the dynamic so that I can hopefully learn from these situations and grow. Maybe if I had exited these relationships sooner, I If I’m being honest with myself, I don’t think being friends with an ex will ever work for me.

(I don’t really need to see you and your new girlfriend eating waffle tacos at Smorgasburg, buddy.) Is this immature? But I’ve found that it’s the best way for me to cope with the trauma of breakups.

Perhaps one day I’ll meet someone I’m willing to maintain a friendship with.

Unless you can address your breakup from just the right angle, you'll end up running yourself over and over into the same brick wall of rejection. Right now you've been going down all the wrong paths, and you've encountered strong resistance on the part of your ex girlfriend.

This is because you're approaching things in all the wrong ways, and your attempts to get her back have been entirely too predictible.

I put them in my phone as “DO NOT ANSWER IT’S THE ASSHOLE.” I delete every single one of our photos together. My most recent ex, Jude*, wanted to be friends once we put the final nail in the coffin that was holding our failed relationship. But the conversation eventually turned to the issues in our relationship — namely, how we stopped having sex early on because he was emotionally unavailable due to the fact that his ex came back into his life.

Until then, I’ve got a full roster of pals to hang out with who never broke my heart.

After being raised on a steady diet of Disney movies, I expected to meet someone and fall passionately in love — but wound up collapsing under the pressures of modern dating.

My friendships are very different from my romantic relationships; they come with less emotional baggage and have a strong foundation of trust and mutual respect (also there’s the part about not having been inside of me).

Like I said, I’m okay with the fact that I’m a staunchly un-chill ex., eating pizza straight from the box, deleting all photographic evidence of my previous relationship, and unfollowing my ex on social media.