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Related: The #1 Thing Men Do On A First Date That Immediately Turns Women OFF While I probably will not ask any of these guys out (because most of them live in rural New Jersey and I'm a Brooklyn girl), viewing their profiles really helped me remember the qualities I truly want in a mate.

Integrity, kindness, a desire to provide for a family he loves, and most of all, a healthy need for emotional intimacy.

Everybody else was hoping that their outfits were going to do most of the heavy lifting for them and generally looked like idiots.

Similarly, it’s inadvisable for an introverted person to try to force themselves to act like an extrovert, especially in the dating scene.

Trying to be someone who is diametrically opposed to who you are inside is a recipe for frustration and failure.

Let me paint a common story for you: It’s been a while since you’ve started trying to get better at dating and it seems like you’re no further along than you have been before. The more posts you read, the more approaches you make… The things that hold us back in dating almost always systematically bleed into the other parts of our lives as well and it’s only when we can be honest with ourselves, confront and address these issues that we can manage to move forward and start making the progress we As I’ve mentioned before: negativity is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

and until I took the time to recognize this and actually address these issues, I was going to get better.

I was sabotaging myself in a number of ways that I didn’t even realize…

You will see every interaction in the worst possible light: “she doesn’t like me, she’s clearly repulsed by me, she’s only being polite, I’m misreading the signals” This apparently unending stream of reinforcement will only serves to perpetuate a vicious cycle; your self-limiting beliefs cause you to overlook evidence to the contrary, thus reinforcing the belief which, in turn, continues to make it impossible to see the truth. Believing in yourself – that you’re attractive, that you have a lot to offer others, that you can you.

Your negative attitude will seep into Breaking negativity can be difficult; it takes time and effort to willfully decide to take a positive attitude and belief and stick to it. Just ask yourself: would you rather a world where everything confirms your worst fears or your fondest fantasies?